Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas?
In a diverse society with a particular set of founding beliefs and ideals, there is always room for a conversation regarding language used to celebrate holidays. In this case, a major American holiday that conjures up many feelings for many people always leaves a question in the balance: should one say, Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas? My work in education keeps this conversation alive as education should be a place for religious pluralism. However, as cultural institution in the United States, education, generally, is not much different than our commercial marketplace regarding this issue.
So what is the debate about really? Is it about using inclusive language? Or maybe it is about respecting how others may or may not celebrate holidays? Possibly, it is about acknowledging that other holidays occur around the time of Christmas as well? This list of questions concerning why one may say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas can go on for pages.
For me, I tend to use Happy Holidays. It seems like a safer word choice and doesn’t explicitly impose Christian values on others. My mom thinks differently. I was out with my mom shopping and she was insistent on saying “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” to every customer service person we encountered. Casually, I asked her: “What if someone doesn’t celebrate Christmas?” She replied: “Well, they know what I mean.” To myself, I thought, what if they don’t know. For many, like my mom, that specific time of year is about celebration. The meaning of the holiday aside, this season is thought of as a time to be grateful, joyous, reflective, and giving. I agree, yet, there is an emphasis on one particular Christian holiday.
In organizations, this debate manifest in the decision of what decorations to put up during the holiday season, if any. And, what to call the holiday party. For some, understanding the pain and chaos of this issue is heartfelt as their organizations have decided not to celebrate anything, because they couldn’t satisfy the majority on how to celebrate something. This tension between being inclusive and satisfying peoples’ belief is deeply felt. Too often, the decision is presented as a zero-sum game without options that are agreeable for everyone.
Using the example of office decorations and the holiday party, three paths generally emerge. One, norms are maintained. Despite learning from people that they are uncomfortable with the way holidays are revered or celebrated, the old or current way of celebrating continues. On this path those with power to decide win. In practice, this sounds like: “It’s too much trouble to change the holiday party.” Or, “there is no budget to purchase different decorations.” The wind in the sails of the status quo keeps whatever was in place, in place. A second path dismantles norms. Because of disagreement or different perspectives, the tradition of a holiday party or putting up office decorations is stopped altogether. This path retreats from engagement; it doesn’t even ask “Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas?” The third path engages the norms, culture, and feelings associated with the office decorations or holiday party. With the goal of including various perspectives, this path prizes a process to learn about the meaning and experience that different people are having. This path not only bares the question: “Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas?” it moves beyond it, asking also: “What else? What have we missed? "Who is not included in how we do holidays in our office?” While effortful, the third path has the promise of achieving a new norm that represents and connects to most people in the office.
These dynamics aside, what is often overlooked is that the end of the calendar year is filled with various holidays from November through December. All of which deserve space, recognition, and reverence in the same way in which Christmas is celebrated. Further, most know that this time of year is about extreme capitalism and commercialism. Sales, deals, and discounts drive patrons to flood stores making millions of dollars in purchases across every major retail sector. Homes are flooded with more stuff as a way to express love, care, and gratitude to friends and family. As resistant as one may be to the tidal wave of shopping, you can still find yourself wrapped up in the “I really need this” or “this would be great for…” rhythm. Noting both, a simple “Happy Holidays” includes not only the spirit but the actual presence of other holidays, while not overstating the celebration of a particular holiday, that for many is much more about a deal than the day itself.
So, what does one say: Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas? Regardless to what you say, how are you celebrating? Surely, there are many efforts during this time of year to bring pause to our busy lives to think about the “why” behind this season. I’m hopeful this post gives you a moment to pause, reflect, and consider.